My bathroom is getting a minor makeover. The countertop and sink are being replaced. The contractor, my beloved spouse, said that it would be completed today. Like all good contractors, he lied. The completion date has been moved out for two more days until Wednesday, if he is not too busy with yoga, pickleball, and coffee with the guys.
We have another bathroom that is fully functional and it would not be a problem except that I wear tri-focal glasses. When I take them off, the whole world becomes one messy soft focus. For safety, I have a system in my bathroom to prevent myself from grabbing the BENGAY instead of the Pepsodent. Menthol is not at all the same as mint; and it’s much more memorable.
I gingerly moved my essential toiletries and cosmetics to the main bath for the duration of the remodel. The one thing I couldn’t move was my wall mounted magnifying mirror. This is a girl’s second best friend and worst enemy. While it enables you to properly apply your Mary Kay it also reminds you that everyone looks better from a distance.
I purchased this magnifying mirror shortly before getting glasses and right after my other half questioned my make-up technique. He looked aghast at me one evening and asked if I had a theater performance that night. I was baffled and gave him a negative reply to which he responded, “Oh, well… you’ve got your stage makeup on.”
Unfortunately, he was right. Upon further inspection, I realized that with dim light and fading vision, I had turned myself into Tammy Faye Bakker. The mascara was too thick, the eyeliner too squiggly, and the cheeks were more burnt than blushed. It was not a look I wished to carry off but to wash off immediately.
So now, without that magnificent mirror I am concerned that when I step out into the daylight Tammy Faye may resurface. For the next couple of days, as an act of kindness, please let me know if you spot her.