Make Me An Offer

If a snail mail promotion arrived torn, stepped on, and muddied you’d toss it quicker than last week’s blue pizza. When a marketing email arrives with a lackluster appearance, typos, and a vague offer it too, will be tossed into the trash.

Your email promotions are a calling card to your current and potential clients. You can just send out a regular email or invest a little time, effort, and collateral to use a service like Mail Chimp or Constant Contact for a more professional looking email.

And while pretty is nice, content is still the most important part. You want to make an offer that will get your audience excited, and you want to make it quick! You only need about 100 words plus a headline to grab their attention and call them to action.

Below is the email I received recently with a name change to protect the not so innocent. Typos are highlighted.

Wednesday March 29th & Wednesday April 5th

My! It’s been awhile since we’ve reached out to you guys through our email database…I can assure you all, we’ve missed hearing from you! Sammy’s Suds has been growing and we’re excited to uncover all the possibilities in the very near future. As a token of our appreciation for your continued loyalty our company, we’d like to offer you guys some SUPER SAVINGS! Anyone in the Hartford area, who schedules an Express Wash (interior wash, windows and tires; exterior, vacuum, wipe down, and windows) for the dates of Wednesday March 29th or Wednesday April 5th, will receive $5 OFF there wash!! And what better time to take advantage of these savings than during this snow storm we’ve had these past few weeks? Give us a call and schedule your Express Wash today! We look forward to hearing from you!

Okay, most of you didn’t even read it, right? Who needs the chatty hello; you want the meat (tofu) of the offer. And if they are specialists in detailing, why are the windows and tires inside the car? Here’s the simple formula for a captivating email offer: Headline, three points, call to action. That’s IT! When you put it together it looks like this:


We’re taking $5 off Express Wash for our loyal Sammy’s Suds customers on the next two Wednesdays! Book now for March 29 or April 5 and get the grit off your grill. Our detailed technicians will carefully wash every inch of your car or SUV and provide streak free windows and shiny wheels. Plus all the interior grime will be wiped away or vacuumed out. You’ll have a spring clean car that’s a joy to drive.  Remember, we come to you and the $5 off is only available on Wednesday, March 29 and April 5. Call Sammy’s Suds today at 860-555-1234 to schedule your appointment.

Keep it simple, check for typos (read it aloud), and always have your contact information in the body of the email. Next thing you know, you’ll be getting more business!